Moms Blog

Hello Peanut,
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling right now.  I wish I had an easy answer and could tkae the feelings from you so you could feel peace.  I know you have tried lots of counseling and feel that hasn't helped you release the pain.  Have you attended any 12-step groups such as AA or NA?  I do know that there are a whole lot of loving, caring and supportive people out there Peanut who will love you through this process.  PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP and please know that I am hearing your pain and I am here for you.  I don't know where you live but I do know there is a lot of help out there and hope too...no matter where you are.  I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child but I do have friends in recovery who have lost children and I have walked with them on this journey and while I can't feel or understand what they or you were feeling, I do know they have shown me that there is hope and that they could stay clean and sober throughout that process..but it sure the hell wasn't easy and it took a lot of help.  One of my friends had a daughter that was murdered and while it was 2 years ago watching him walk through this process has been humbling and painful.  However, he has shared that while the pain was intense, the support he found helped him get through it...and he is still getting through this one day and one minute at a time.  Another very close friend of mine had a son who committed suicide last summer and she is still processing this and still sharing her pain, her guilt, her anger at the event and also her love and joy at having her son in her life.  She does attend a support group for parents who've had children who died and this and the 12-step program and fellowship have helped her walk through the pain.  I feel sad that I don't have any easy answers for you Peanut and wish I were wherever you are to hug and support you through this.  Please reach out and keep reaching out till no matter what.  I have another friend in recovery whose grandchildren and daughter-in-law burned to death in a fire and she too was able to grieve and gather support.  I guess the key I am trying to get to here Peanut is that there is help and hope out there and there are other people who have shared your path and who are living and breathing and are surviving the pain... and who I can promise you have also found joy in their life but it took a lot of tears, anger, joy, fear, pain and a lot of time and support.  THere are people who have found solace in their church too and there are those who call crisis lines and who go to counseling, there are many paths to healing and I sure none of them are easy ones.  Please don't give up Peanut and please keep logging on here and sharing your experience with us.  I am sorry it has taken so long to get on here and reply to your post.  I did reply to the one on the message board too.  My computer at home is a huge pain in the butt and there are many times when I log on and get kicked off and can't get back on.  I am going to keep you in my prayers and will log on here throughout the day to see if you are here again.  Sending you love, and much hope.  Judy

Dear Peanut,

I hope you're better now and have found a way to cope with you loss enough not to feel trapped with no way out.  

I'm writing to you in a professional capacity.  I'm a producer at NBC in New York looking into the possibility of doing a program on meth.  I was wondering if I could talk to you and/or other people who have problems with the drug.

Please give me a call at 212-664-7012 or email me at diana.frank@nbcuni.com

I really hope to hear from you.

All the best,
Diana (Frank)