Welcome to Moms Off Meth Message Board Sign in | Join | Help

Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Hello My name is Stephanie G, i'm 27 yrs old and i'm a meth addict. I'm desperate to find hope that i do have a chance to regain my happiness and freedom os living a normal life again. I see this organization is based mainly for people in iowa? but i still hope theres room for me somewhere. I am in san Antonio,Texas and i have lost my parental rights to my paternal grandmother and have been arrested for drug possesion and face imprisonment. I still am using and  i have been in rehab twice but still with no luck i'm unsuccessful and alone. I dream of being the person my children think i am for they are still in denial that mommy's a failure.Madeleine Star is 9 yrs old, Madison Skye is 7 yrs old and my only son Mason Storm is 5 yrs old. I can only say that the will and the dream is in me but here in S.A there isn't many places that really give you the help you need to REMAIN drug free! I am so sadd for women  that are all alone in this crazy world that have also lost or are losing their kids and noone cares.In jail i realized that  all of us in there had been severly abused as children. and in there the only form of counseling was maybe if you were lucky you got to speak with a church lady.That was it, Oh and yeah any kind of medication you could get your hands on. They would give you anything as long as you said you had reason you got it. So i was taking about15 pills but no counseling or support groups for personal growth. so how can i help my fellow S.A women????

Published Saturday, April 14, 2007 12:58 AM by stephanie

Comments

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Saturday, April 14, 2007 7:30 AM by Judy
Hey Stephanie,
I really hope that you continue to log on here and be an active member. You don't have to do this alone and there are lots of women on this message board from all over; including outside of Iowa.  I have been in recovery from meth, alcohol, and every other drug for over 11 years and the first thing that I found that helped me immensely was getting involved in a 12-step program and finding support from other people who used like me, felt like me and also had the solutions to how to get and stay in recovery.  I still attend today and have been given the opportunity for a productive, fullfilling life as a result of my ongoing attendance and willingness to work the program.  So, first off I would urge you to find a support group right there where you live.  Second of all, please continue to be a member of the Moms Off Meth message board.  We are women who have been through many of the same things you have been and are supportive of each other in every area of our lives.  There are other women here who do not attend a 12 step program and have the gift of recovery, lots of love to give and are a great support to me.  We are from all walks of life here and all have rich experiences to share.  I hope you continue to join us.  We willl cheer you on, support you, share our solutions with you and love you until you can love yourself enough to stay sober.  Your friend in Iowa.  Judy

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Monday, April 16, 2007 8:21 AM by stephanie
Judy, Thank you very much for responding to my concerns. I'm happy to see that my efforts are not wasted. I  do know that i have to find a support group soon. Well i'm planning on continuing my education so we'll see how it goes .untill next time goodbye, stephanie

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 6:15 AM by Judy
Hey Stephanie,
I am glad that you logged back on and got my message to you.  Please let us know how you are and what is going on.  I truly care about you and hope that you continue to fight for your right to stay clean and sober.  If you get a chance log on to the message board and let us all know what is going on and share your struggles and successes with us.  We have all been there and know what it feels like to feel hopeless and afraid.  There is a lot of hope and I want you to know you are in my thoughts and my prayers.  Hope to hear from you soon, Judy

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 5:23 PM by Mindy..Moms on meth
Hi this is Mindy...I am a daughter of a mom that uses meth..It destroyed both my life and her's! SHe left me with my dad and i went to see her when i was 6 and she was still on it...I havnt talked to her since i was 6 ...I am 13 now and living a life with out my real mom...i have been adoped into a good family...but i sometimes wonder how she's doing!Dont ruin the life of your kids by being on meth....My mom ruined mine!She looked me in the eye when i was 6  and told me she has chosen drugs over me..It made me crumble down in tears...think about that the next time u decide to do METH!!  love,Mindy

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Thursday, April 19, 2007 6:01 AM by Judy
Good morning Mindy.  I am very sorry for all that you have been through and am glad you have found a safe family to live with and who cares for you.  You deserve the very best that life has to offer you.  As a mom who used meth I can tell you how sad I am that you had to go through all the pain that children go through when they have a parent that uses drugs or alcohol.  I hope you find healing and peace Mindy.  I wish for you a life filled with love, laughter, healing and joy.  I wish your mom, your dad and your adopted family the same things.   Please know that there are lots of people out there just like you who have found support and help to work through the pain you are feeling.  I'm really glad you logged on here and let us know how you feel and what happened to you.  We care about you and would love to hear more from you whenever you feel like sharing.  Take care sweetie, your friend in Iowa.  Judy

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007 8:11 AM by MandiB
Hey Stephanie it has been a while since you posted I was just thinking about you and re-reading your last post......Hope you are well and just wanted to let you know you're not alone I personally am here for you....And I know many of the women on here are too......I would love to hear more from you

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Sunday, July 08, 2007 12:49 PM by sissy
Hey stephanie!  I am a recovering meth addict who has 4 children...3 girls and a boy.  I have been clean and sober for 22 months.  I was lucky enough to get my kids back but i know other people who have not been so fortunate.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! i am co facilitator to the moms group in Washington, IA. we have a major problem with meth here in our town yet we are not having the attendance in our group. We've had the same 3 people and we just recently stopped meeting for a while but we are starting to get other people interested in it through DHS. We do care about what happens with you and you can get alot of support from this website and from Judy and Chris. They are absolute angels. They truly care about each and every woman on this website. Hope to hear from you again. Take Care   Dawn

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 2:40 PM by irene
i know it is hard but as I sit here and try to write this I have tears in my eyes because I knowhow u feel.... Iam amom of three and a grandma of of four and I love them very much and they are my life but there were times that I would forget about them because I had the urge and it was stronger then me so I thought .... I havent been clean and sober for very long but Iam taking it one day at a time and iam with great support and i had to leave the man i thought i loved and loved me but all we seemed to love was the fact we used together and it it hurts because i want to move on and do better for myself and he seems to want to stay stuck where he is...i know i could have him back if i went back to using but i cant because it is making me so sick i have lost so much weight iam developing a eating disorder...all i can say is keep your chin up and remember u deserve nothing but the best and you might have to go through some pain to get there but once you get there it is all worth it                                                        Irene

# re: Doubting new comer Is this For me?

Tuesday, April 08, 2008 8:42 PM by SURVIVOR1972
i too have had many a doubt but have joined the group for about a year and just now can claim 4 months clean but it is hard but yet good i have visits with my son now and intend to keep them the harder it gets to more i wait for my visits!
Anonymous comments are disabled